Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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