I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
