remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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