there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just pynch a tree in the face
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
