Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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