Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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