I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
