im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
