She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
