I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
