Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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