She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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