"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
