why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
