I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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