Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
