I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.