do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife