I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?