Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?

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  (415): just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good? http://tfl.nu/tswm
  Replies (13) Good night (2794) Bad night (670)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

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  (816): dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/klxs
  Replies (30) Good night (1229) Bad night (9166)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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  (781): So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets. http://tfl.nu/zt9l
  Replies (12) Good night (597) Bad night (4883)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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  (778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo
  Replies (26) Good night (4161) Bad night (945)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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  (613): There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order. http://tfl.nu/vb6g
  Replies (23) Good night (5108) Bad night (976)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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  (401): She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough. http://tfl.nu/js6s
  Replies (19) Good night (5934) Bad night (1305)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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  (404): Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic. http://tfl.nu/dv7k
  Replies (27) Good night (3467) Bad night (5267)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko

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  (814): we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko http://tfl.nu/v0ui
  Replies (18) Good night (4137) Bad night (1026)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.

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  (775): You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes. http://tfl.nu/wxud
  Replies (22) Good night (1277) Bad night (5070)
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  (607): View more from New York

  This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

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  (607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr
  Replies (17) Good night (3062) Bad night (925)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.

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  (419): I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/xmxl
  Replies (10) Good night (2601) Bad night (731)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.

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  (512): well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber. http://tfl.nu/rkm3
  Replies (4) Good night (1603) Bad night (518)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.

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  (612): she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different. http://tfl.nu/v2bl
  Replies (2) Good night (1020) Bad night (430)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.

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  (608): Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are. http://tfl.nu/5ybn
  Replies (11) Good night (2686) Bad night (523)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i've gotta research that and get back to you.

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  (740): it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky. (419): i've gotta research that and get back to you. http://tfl.nu/7k7v
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (410)

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