I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
