she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
