my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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