Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
