but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
