Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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