just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize