Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
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