3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
