It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you traded sex for a burrito?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
