My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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