yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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