we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
