I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My nipple is on Facebook.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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