we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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