Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
