I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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