i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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