you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
