He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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