just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
