I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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