There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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