i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Randomize
