I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
