she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
