he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
