We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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