So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
