We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
