i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
