sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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