I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
