jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize