I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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