nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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