Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
