Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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