yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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