can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
