i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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