Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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