So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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