so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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