covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
