dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
