Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
